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editorial note: as all things are, this is a work of fiction. the characters in it, while obviously based on something, are not intended to be exact replicas of anyone
“Well I know a place that sells martinis, want to grab a drink?” He finally sent it. At least he made some attempt to sound casual. He had to. She couldn’t know he’d been obsessing about this moment for days. Building momentum. The slack banter during late meetings. The 1:1 meetings in the abandoned conference room. The rides home from work. He’s pretending to be casual, as if he hadn’t made the speakeasy reservation 2 days ago
He didn’t know how long he’d been having the thought. Probably for months. Louder and louder the devil had been screaming “What if?”
“What if you are right”
“What if she likes you back”
“What if this isn’t in your head”
At this point he had to know. What were the downsides? They weren’t doing anything wrong yet. Sure they had partners. But it was just a drink, right? And besides “What if?” It never hurts to ask, right?
That’s how it started. Now they are walking down the soon to be well worn Main Street. It’s funny how she always takes the lead even though she never knows where they are going. Always one step ahead of him. He’ll never be able to lead her anywhere
Through the company bar, down the stairs, past the bookshelf. They find themselves in a mostly empty speakeasy. The air is already starting to thicken. Quietly he mentions the reservation to the host. she’s starting to realize this might be a date. So is he.
The idea creeps up on them. They are starting to stare. The laughs are starting to come from someplace real. Maybe all at once, maybe it’s always been there. He says “Thanks for getting a drink with me” and she realizes. They don’t even sell martinis at this bar. Is this a date?
Many hours, a few drinks later, they are forced to leave the bar. They have some stupid meeting to attend. He promised earlier they’d be home by now. So for the first time they sit next to each other on zoom. Pretending they aren’t drunk. Starting to learn what it means to pretend they aren’t together
In a moment when the meeting is muted he works up his courage. With his swarmy smile he turns to her and asks:
“Does this happen to you often?”
“what do you mean?” she insists
”That boys become obsessed with you?”
pausing to figure out if he’s serious, it seems like he might be. the only thing she can think to respond is “i’ll have to think about that”
Then there’s nothing to do but fall into it. The meeting ends. But the night can’t end yet. So they get dinner. They play secret footsie for the first time, a sport they will later master. Later it will be a secret from others, but today it’s a secret from even them.
At some point though it becomes silly. They can’t stay in town until the sun comes up. They have to part ways. He drives away and the air slowly thins. He begins to realize what he’s done. He begins to realize what’s to come
In one last final resistance he deletes slack. Just for the night. Just get through tonight and tomorrow will be easier. In the morning he has one message. before she went to sleep she sent:
“text me 2627349063”